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High Pain Tolerance in not a good thing

I just figured out – it is a bad thing to have a high pain tolerance ….

While recuperating from SRS surgery here in Thailand, I had a complication, an extended bladder.  I had 2 severe episodes.  I went way way to long before saying something. The first was 3 nights of excruciating pain – I endured it thinking it will get better.

The second time, I waited till morning to call for help. Stupid!!! I could have called in the middle of the night and a nurse would have come to my hotel room and re-inserted the catheter (as is what happened the second time but in the morning). I’m learning.

So, now, when something is just a bit painful, I tell Lisa and we figure out if it is more serious or not. Ack, never thought that having a high pain tolerance would be an issue!

When I look back, I see that a number of times I’ve over extended myself, but not enough to feel the pain that I should have.  Only to have a very sore ‘whatever it was that I did’ show up three days later.

But this episode with an over extended bladder was the worst pain in my life – yet I endured way longer than I should have.  Mostly because I either thought it would go away or because I didn’t want to wake someone up in the middle of the night.

I’m learning.  Being female brings with it a whole new regime of care and maintenance.  It also brings a new appreciation for listening closely to one’s body and taking heed of what it says.

Being this much in touch with my body is a new experience.  It’s also one that I knew I was missing before transition.  This is actually a very beautiful and wonderful feeling.  It’s not just being in touch with the body, but also with nature and it’s cycles.  It brings so much together.  It is wondrous.

With much aloha,

Sifan

Hoku Wahine (Hawaiian: literally star woman, eg. woman astronomer)

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About sifankahale

Aloha ! This is a difficult (very personal and scary) thing for me to share. I have seen and read many other accounts of people who have transitioned – those have helped me immensely. But we are all unique, and my journey does not seem to fit others. So, in hopes of helping others as well as documenting my journey – I’ve created this blog. I am a transsexual woman; my gender is female and my birth sex is male (this is the official medical definition and its in my medical record). This is not a choice, nor is it a lifestyle or even a preference. It took many years, with professional help, to find who I am and to finally merge all of my life’s descriptiveness, talents, sensitivities and general outlook on life into a deep understanding of self. As that phase progressed, it was my maleness that started to fall away, like layers of an onion. Rather than becoming a woman, I realized I am a woman. This is my diary of my journey through transition. With kindness and Aloha, Sifan

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