A good friend of mine had lost her father and we discussed the finality of death and how hard it is to accept along with the grief and deep loss felt. I thought I would post my reply here because this might help others.
My spouse, the most beautiful love I have ever shared, passed away a little more than a year ago now. She was with me during my transition and during my operation. So very supportive. She passed away about 6 months after that operation. This last year has been horrific in the pain of the loss and grief felt and accounts for the lack of posts on this blog site. I know I’ve promised to write more here – enough so that I don’t dare promise anything except that I will try. There are a lot of things I would like to write and I will.
Here is my response to the feelings of the finality when a person you love dearly passes:
Oh the finality …. I found there are two very distinct parts to that. I spent 3 hours or so with Lisa’s body in the hospital after she was pronounced dead and before they came to pick her up (oh boy this is difficult to write…). And then just before she was cremated I viewed her body for about 1/2 hour after which she was brought right to the back and cremated. It was so hard leaving there, I walked backwards out the building looking at her the entire time until I could not anymore – my last sight of her physical-ness – ever. Her brother was there with me and came rushing up to support me as I was stumbling and collapsing.